Rose was such a lovely lady, very high spirited and on the curvy side, her discernment on spiritual matters was equally flawless as she doesn’t joke with church attendance and personal devotions. As spiritual as she was, religious and doctrinal belief had no influence on her dressing; She was always charming and smart with her dressing…her expertise in makeup also made her face beautiful…she knew exactly what powder to use with certain lip gloss yet being mindful of the moderacy expected of her as a child of God….In short, Rose is the definition of class, beauty and spiritual maturity. “So you kept thinking about her even in church?” (Paul jesting). “Why not tell her then since you’re convinced of God’s consent?”🤷
The Sarcasm in Paul’s voice was undeniable in Andrew’s ears yet he gullibly replied…”I can’t!🤦 …I don’t feel good enough for her…she’s just perfect…her scent each time she passes by makes my heart skip beats…the smile on her face when she greets me is always appealing. ..her voice chimes through my ears like sweet melody…I can’t get her off my mind even if I try…I am so much in love…
“Andrewww..! When did you become a poet?” (Paul interrupted.) “I see you’re indeed love struck!”…”but you see you have to do something, you can’t keep lamenting about your love for Rose.”…He added…”I suggest you brace yourself & talk to her…u both are level mates, it shouldn’t be that hard to relate better with her.
Andrew was handsome and tall, God loving, energetic and charismatic , he never doubted how charming he was until he met Rose, Her perfection in his eyes had made him loose all sense of self esteem.
“I’ll try”…Andrew managed to respond… “Yes, you just have to try, give it a shot please”…Paul added.
Two months later..
“You look perfect!” (Paul responded to Andrew’s question…even though in his mind he knew Andrew’s “big-head” tie wasn’t necessary but he didn’t want to crush the last ego left in his friend as that was Andrew’s favorite tie.)
“But isn’t there a way you can shift this meeting till later in the day?” Paul asked…”I already told you” (Andrew retorted)…”I have to be in church meeting in the evening, Rose and I can only meet by 2pm in the hall after her second paper today!” “Ok…ok…you can’t blame me for asking…🤷” He replied. “What an unromantic hot meeting” (Paul scoffed under his breathe).
“How was your exam” (Andrew asked…forcing an excessively broad smile)…”It was fine” (Rose managed to respond as she really had some difficulties during her last paper…)
Andrew: So how are you?
Andrew: Why is the hall still crowded, is there any other exam left?
Rose: No, they’re just analysing the right answers.
Andrew: Ok…I see…hope you’re fine anyways?
Rose: Yes (beginning to sense something fishy about Andrew’s emphasised concern about her welfare)…You said you wanted to see me right?
Andrew: Yes…yes (Wipes his face from dripping sweats…one could easily tell it was as a result of the heat from his suit and suffocating tie)…Erm.. “I have been wanting to see you for a while noRoseRose: Ok…I’m all ears… but before that. ..”Were you heading for your project defence? ”
Andrew: No.. not at all…why?
Rose: Nothing really…I’m just in awe of your unconditional love for a suit and tie even under this scorching sun.
Andrew: (Smiles)…Thanks. ..don’t mind me…I really love my ties and suit too (thinking Rose’s observation was a complement).
Rose: (She gave a sarcastic smile with a raised eye brow)…”ok🤦…no problem…I’m a little tired though, I really need to rest soon”
Andrew: So sorry my dear, I’ll be very fast with it so I don’t delay you for too long…
Rose: Thanks for understanding…
Andrew: My sweet Rose, I’ve been thinking about you for a while now and I really want you to know how I feel about you…
I’ve been praying about this and I know it is the will of God as well… you’re so beautiful and very presentable in every way…I really want you to be mrs Andrews someday…if you understand what I mean.
Rose: (Smiles graciously with a little blush to her face…) “yea…I think I do…You want us to be in a relationship right? ”
Andrew : Exactly…I knew you would have been sensing it too (feeling honored)
Rose: (Smiles sarcastically)…
Andrew: So what do you think my dear, I really love you.
Rose: Well…what do you stand to gain if I were to say “yes” to you?
Andrew: Ah! Alot of things my dear…it will be an honor…I’ll be envied by all the brothers in church, you’ll be the one to give birth to my children…I’ll finally have a companion to talk to…the list is inexhaustible.
Rose: Is that all?
Andrew: Yes…but like I said, the list is inexhaustible.
Rose: Ok…but in all these things what do I stand to gain.
Andrew: Erm..err…I’ll always love you, I’ll never make you cry, I’ll always be there for you…I’ll never break your heart…I can even support you financially.
Rose: (Smiles)…thanks…but money is never a problem, I thank God for HIS abundance.
Andrew: God be praised for that.
Rose:(Sighs)…it is well..
Andrew: Amen!…is that a yes from you?
Rose: No o…please o…not at all…I’m sorry Andrew but I don’t think I want to be in a relationship with you, I however appreciate your love for me…thanks so much
Andrew: (Taken aback and shivering as though an atomic bomb just alighted on his head)…but why? Rose I love you, I swear to God, I promise you I’ll never fail you…pls don’t crush my hopes…remember the bible says “the expectation of a righteous man shall not be cut short”…Pls Rose, say yes and fulfil God’s word. I’ll always be there for you.
Rose: Stop begging me Andrew, I see no realistic prospects in this…what exactly would be the purpose of the relationship?🤷
Andrew: Arha…I just told you how much I love and how prepared I am to take good care of you…did you think I was joking
Rose: No…I did not…I just couldn’t find my answer, I’m sorry…but you don’t seem to have a specific goal, vision or purpose for your life talkless of mine….it’s too risky to entrust you with my life and destiny.
Andrew: Haha Rose…what do you mean? are you now insulting me because I love you? Pls Rose, don’t do that…I honestly love you with all my heart, God is my witness…even in church I’m hardly able to concentrate.
Rose: I believe you love me and I am not insulting you, I’m only saying “I can’t find anything fascinating about your proposal and I can’t pinpoint anything in reference to your purpose” So what exactly would I be saying “Yes” to?
Andrew: To “My love” of course!
Rose: (Sighs) Is your love a purpose and proposal? Nothing futuristic nor captivating.
Andrew:(Getting really frustrated)…Rose, stop being carnal minded…the bible says only the purpose of God will stand. We having another purpose will be interfering with God’s own plan for our lives.
Rose: (Really getting irritated by Andrew’s level of ignorance)… Oh really?…ok…no problem…let me go and pray about it then.
Andrew: Ehennn…now you’re talking…We should seek God’s face in everything and I’m Sure God will reveal to you how much I love you…So when should I be expecting a response from you?
Rose: It is well…I’ll get back to you.
Andrew: My precious Rose…I really love you so much…pls think about it.
Rose: Pls can I go now? I’m really hungry and I also need to rest.
Andrew: Ok dear…no problem…hope to see you this evening in church.
Andrew: Wait now…let me at least see you off a bit. .
Rose: No…no…no…don’t worry… thanks alot….the sun would really be too much for you, considering the way you’re dressed.
Andrew: Aww…thanks so much dear…I knew you were caring, you would really make a good wife.
(Rose forces a smile and increased her pace..she knew that moment she was never going to give a “Yes” to a man like his; without purpose and without vision, without anything that looks like her dream…)
*Well…you can guess what happened next…Andrew kept begging Rose for a “Yes” …a response she was determined to never give.*
Late Dr. Myles Munroe once said “Healthy relationships should always begin at the spiritual and intellectual levels – the levels of purpose, motivation, interests, dreams,and personality.”
What an undisputable fact!
Never say YES to a man without purpose and vision…
Never beg a woman for love and affection either…
See it this way…You go to the bank with a proposal having the objective of getting some partnership or loan, you’ll either get a deal or be declined based majorly on the content of your proposal…No bank will approve a proposal with no long term achievable vision.
No one wants to partner with a looser…
That’s exactly how a relationship proposal should be handled…
What do you need a woman for?
What would she add to you?
What edge do you have over every other man proposing to her?
What benefit would she get from your proposal?
Love is important but never sufficient, you have to bring in vision and wisdom.
Life’s first objective is to discover purpose, next to it is love and partnership.
However, to the ladies out there…
*Not* every man with a vision and purpose is suitable for you…You have no business accepting the proposal of a seminary graduate when you have dreams of being a “dance model”.
If you have dreams of having a house wife, why propose to a lady who is a business minded marketer?
You must be able to see yourself happy and fulfilled living with each others vision and purpose.
If you’re a man with purpose and she still isn’t accepting your proposal, don’t be discouraged…she’s simply not going your way…don’t force her into an agreement with you, move on…you’ll find another woman.
You can try to show her and persuade her to see the sweetness and prospects your partnership has to offer as long as you have similar dreams BUT NEVER BEG…Doing so only makes you seem hopeless and desperate.
*Disadvantages of begging for love*
1.) There won’t be mutual commitment to the success of the relationship.
2.) There would be strife for self worth.
3.) There wont be much consideration of the interests and desires of the “begger”
4.) Frequent occurrence of emotional trauma. Etc
Love should never be under obligations… Shall two walk together except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)
Love is important but much more is a clearly analysed vision.
Stop begging for love when your visions don’t align.